school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
