Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
