Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Houston, we have a squirter
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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