worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
