im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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