So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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