She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
