barbara walters just said penis...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
