you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That's intense
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
