Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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