I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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