Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
