Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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