i just google imaged poop.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
