2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize