Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
