We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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