Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
