seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
