Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
