That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize