She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
