thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
