why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
