Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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