there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
PANTIES FOUND
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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