Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
