I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
