where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
