At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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