Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have so much sex to catch up on
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
