All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
