so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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