i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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