I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i out mim tonsoeep
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
