Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
