So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Drunk is not a location!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
