i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
