he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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