Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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