The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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