$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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