Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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