whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize