Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
