We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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