Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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