so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
