How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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