just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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