yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
