She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
