we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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