I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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