His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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