those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
