I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He passed out mid-signature
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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