Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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