Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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