can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
