Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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