shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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