I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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