At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
