I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
sex in a hospital.. check
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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