Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
