he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
