The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
