it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
