O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I love you.
Bad choice
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