god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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