the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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