I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
